In a confusion state.
This is where it begins where you start to filter your surrounding and i like to use the word; gone!
For instance when you used to hang a lot with a friend then suddenly his/her time has come to be in a relationship, in all state poof! Status member; GONE.
I usually use the phrase people come and go maybe finally i realised the actual mean behind it.
Do you ever feel like, okay well you have a friend alright and you were there at their worst also sometimes at their best. As time goes by the bond between you and your friend gaping day by day due to each other's busy-ness. One day you decide to do some catch up but it turns out the other somehow does not really see what you are doing (effort, to atleast find time for them) and its super awkward when you feel like 'bertepuk sebelah tangan' - damn i just love peribahasa. After the meet up, there's no any sign of them to do the same way and eventually we stopped. Status member; GONE.
I somehow feel rather sad then angry. People do say when you are not at my worst, you don't deserve my best. I find that everyone deserve my best but at the right moment cause i don't know maybe during at my best i could cheer up someone on having a bad day or to get a chance to see the other side of me or maybe acknowledge new/current people of knowing me is not bad at all. Those are just my thoughts on the idea of this topic.